The Plight of the Plumeria

Ok. So if you were ever a reader of this sparse and silly blog, you at one time may have been following my journey with our two little plumeria plants that we brought home from Hawaii. Despite our severe neglect (leaving them in their plastic bags for over 6 months!), they both produced either leaves of flowers.

One, I named Blondie, because of the yellow blooms it produced. If you recall, I was a little worried about Blondie, because she put out blossoms immediately, but no leaves. Plus, the blossoms were very fragile…the slightest breeze could knock them off. But oh how they smelled! Well….much as I feared, Blondie did not survive the winter dormancy period in our apartment basement storage. She got “stem rot” and withered away.

Pinky, on the other hand, is living quite heartily! No blooms, yet. (They should be pink when they do arrive). Apparently, as I have studied up more extensively, you really don’t want to let a Plumeria bloom its first year, as this takes too much energy away from the developing root system. Some experts even say to cut off any leaves, to put energy into rooting. I wonder if I’ll see blooms this second season…but I won’t worry if not.

But, before you mourn the death of Pinky’s twin sib, let me share that this summer I have inherited 5 new siblings for Pinky! They haven’t been named, but I’m calling them the Quints. 5 different varieties. I can’t wait to see their blooms. BUT, if they bloom this summer, I’ll have to remove them. But I figured if Pinky survived last summer with the leaves she grew, I’d let these Quints keep their leaves during their first season. Maybe the extra sun they can soak up will help them survive!

A beautiful family!!!

The Confusing 30’s

Officially, I’m now 31. There is no going back. 20’s are gone. Of course, they say 30 is the new 20. Most days I feel like that. Some days are an obvious “yeah right.” I’d like to go back to 20. However, I wouldn’t change anything. Except maybe meet Andy earlier. BUT, that would mean that some of the amazing experiences, both challenging and exciting, that we have both had in our individual lives may not have been experienced. Anyway, I digress.

I just picked up a book the other day that I’ve had for a long time and haven’t yet read, The Call by Os Guinness. Subtitle: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life. Now most of you know, I’ve generally been very confident in knowing the directions and areas of life that I’ve been called to. I’ve forged ahead in many a youth ministry vision, I’ve pursued school when I felt the Lord directed, I’ve enjoyed a strong passion for little ones, and have enjoyed singing whenever possible. ALL with the belief that my purpose is to glorify God through my giftings, and show Love to everyone I know. To be available, obedient, and humble. I don’t think I’m questioning my purpose, but I’m certainly trying to figure out how to live out my callings within the new season of life that I am in. I truly understand now how interests are divided when you are married…largely because you can’t physically and emotionally be everywhere you used to be…and to try to do so is exhausting. My newest calling is to love my husband, take care of our home, and prepare for our family. To work WITH him to love on others, be available, obedient, and humble, glorifying God through our home and relationship

Check out this excerpt (I’m an excerpt girl. Sorry.)….the statements about graduate students and those in their 30’s highlights the VERY predicaments I feel:

“Call it the greatest good (summum bonum), the ultimate end, the meaning of life, or whatever you choose. But finding and fulfilling the purpose of our lives comes up in myriad ways and in all the seasons of our lives:

Teenagers feel it as the world of freedom beyond home and secondary school beckons with a dissying range of choices.

Graduate students confront it when the excitement of “the world is my oyster” is chilled by the thought that OPENING UP ONE CHOICE MEANS CLOSING DOWN OTHERS.

Those in their early thirties know it when their daily work assumes its own brute reality beyond their earlier considerations of THE WISHES OF THEIR PARENTS, THE FASHIONS OF THEIR PEERS, AND THE ALLURE OF SALARY AND CAREER PROSPECTS.

People in midlife face it when a mismatch between their gifts and their work reminds them daily that they are square pegs in round holes. CAN THEY SEE THEMSELVES ‘DOING THAT FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES’?

Mothers feel it when their children grow up, and they wonder which high purpose will fill the void in the next stage of their lives.

People in their forties and fifties with enourmous success suddenly come up against it when their accomplishments raise questions concerning the social responsibility of their success, and deeper still, the purpose of their lives.

Those in their later years often face it again. What does life add up to? Were their successes real, and were they worth the trade-offs? Having gained a whole world, however huge or tiny, have we sold our souls cheaply and missed the point of it all? As Walker Percy wrote, ‘You can get all A’s and still flunk life.’

People confront it in all the varying transitions of life – from moving homes to switching jobs to breakdowns in marriage to crises of health. NEGOTIATING THE CHANGES FEELS LONGER AND WORSE THAN THE CHANGES THEMSELVES BECAUSE TRANSITION CHALLENGES OUR SENSE OF PERSONAL MEANING.”

Currently, I feel unfulfilled in my job. I enjoy it much of the day. But I’m certainly confused about the next step. I don’t want to feel trapped into doing it because we’ve chosen to raise our standard of living to require both of our incomes. I think this is a challenge most women feel…working a forty hour job, and still having the time and energy to make home as special as you want it to be is way more challenging than I ever dreamed. Of course Andy knows my dream is to be home….and he is 100% in favor of that…but we have groundwork to lay first. But to have children any time soon may complicate that further. But not in a bad way. Anything is possible. We’re just working on being obedient for the now.

What I find interesting is that I think that while all generations have been faced with the challenge of finding their own purpose in life, I think Os Guinness makes an interesting point about this current part of modern history. We may be struggling with the question with far more difficulty than any generation past. Why?

“In our own day this question is urgent in the highly modern parts of the world, and there is a simple reason why. 3 factors have converged to fuel a search for significance without precedent in human history.

FIRST, the search for the purpose of life is one of the deepest issues of our experiences as human beings.

SECOND, the expectation that we can ALL live purposeful lives has been given a gigantic boost by modern society’s offer of the MAXIMUM OPPORTUNITY FOR CHOICE AND CHANGE IN ALL WE DO.

THIRD, fulfillment of the search for purpose is thwarted by a stunning fact: Out of more than a score of great civilizations in human history, modern Western civilization is the very first to have NO AGREED-ON ANSWER to the purpose of life. Thus more ignorance, confusion – and longing – surround this topic now than at almost any time in history.

THE TROUBLE IS THAT, AS MODERN PEOPLE, WE HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE WITH AND TOO LITTLE TO LIVE FOR…IN THE MIDST OF MATERIAL PLENTY, WE HAVE SPIRITUAL POVERTY.”

Not to sound whiny….but sometimes I feel stupid for being so confused. I seriously don’t feel like it’s that difficult to find my purpose. BUT….maybe we have so many more mindsets and situations because of our modern culture, we really do have more challenge finding it. I don’t know.

Of course….I’d love to hear thoughts. If anyone is reading….